Tsunambee (2015) … This One Stings!!

When you go into a movie with high expectations only to be let down (waaaaay down), you can’t help but feel robbed. Robbed of your time, of your attention, and of your patience. This is exactly how me and my kids felt after sitting through Tsunambee. When I received the screener for this film, I excitedly showed my kids the artwork for it. We were all giddy in anticipation. We all loved the Sharknado franchise and figured Tsunambee would be combining tsunami’s and killer bees. Right? What the hell else could it be? Well, that’s the question. After we watched all eighty-two excruciating minutes of this film, we were all left scratching our heads wondering what the hell it was we first watched. The entire film feels like it was edited to resemble a fever dream. The scenes are choppy, there is no continuity among all the scenes, and the story plods along daring you, the viewer, to make sense of it yourself. Maybe directors Miko Davis and Thomas Martwick really should have collaborated more on the plot.

The film starts off on the mean streets in Los Angeles. We see a young man get gunned down. There is no context for it and no apparent reason for it. He’s just gunned down. His friend that was watching seemed upset, but as the viewer you’ll feel nothing because we know nothing about the gentleman shot. Then we cut to Africa where a group of “scientists” are traipsing through the woods–I mean jungle. What the expedition is about is unknown. But the group stumbles upon a bunch of really large paper mache bee hives. The African guide, who is wearing a tank top, goes into some African myth about the queen bee being in human form. Oh, okay. So I guess this film is going to be about an African curse? Maybe? Just hold on. The next scene jumps back to downtown Los Angeles where the city is under terrorist attack. Maybe. Shit is exploding and there are tons of earthquakes. It is either terrorists or the Biblical end of days. Either way, you won’t care. Three city dwellers escape to the outskirts of town where they run into a few redneck racist assholes and a female cop. The group tries to survive the earthquakes and large killer CGI effects …. uh, I mean bees. Large killer bees.

If this all sounds horrible, then you are paying attention. There’s nothing interesting going on here The acting is flat, the dialogue is terrible, the CGI f/x are laughable, and the actors seem like they are making up the plot as they go along. But what really got me and the kids is the tone of the film. The entire tone of Tsunambee is all wrong. The Sharknado films knew they were stupid and they played it up. The writers and filmmakers all knew exactly what the Sharknado films were all about. The were silly and fun. The makers of Tsunambee play this one off seriously. I mean, dead serious. There are no tongue-in-cheek moments or silly scenes just to get a laugh out of the audience. Tsunambee is played on the straight and narrow.

This brings us to another head-scratching point: Why is this film titled “Tsunambee”? There isn’t even a tsunami in this film, let alone a tsunami made of bees!! The title is an obvious ploy to cash in on Sharknado’s fame of matching up a killer creature with a weather anomaly. In the end, what we end up with is a movie that has a pseudo-Japanese sounding title (that has nothing to do with tsunami’s), with a quasi African myth (that is never fleshed out). Along the way we get some embarrassingly executed bee attacks. Oh, and did I mention that the people killed by the bees become zombies? Well, don’t expect an explanation why.

Tsunambee is one helluva disappointing film. Everything about the film from the shitty CGI, the muddy plot, and the endless plot holes is a huge misfire. It took this one two years to get a release, and you’ll be asking yourself, “Why did it get released at all.” I also say that the indie horror scene is the future of the genre, but that excludes Tsunambee. This is a huge disappointment and you’ll hate yourself for wasting your time and money on it.

My Summary:

Directors: Miko Davis & Thomas Martwick

Plot: .5 out of 5 stars

Gore: 2 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem: .5 out of 5 brains

Stay Bloody!!!

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer


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