Kristen Stewart to Star in Martyrs Remake?? F**k Me!!!
(Thanks to frequent reader and blogger Sezin at http://www.sezin.org/ for bringing this up to me)
This is it people … this is the last straw. I’m gonna assume that everyone who has read 2-3 postings on this website know my feelings about Pascal Laugier’s MARTYRS. In a word; its the best horror movie of the last 10-15 years and might possibly be the best horror film ever made. Period. Last month I reported that there is a U.S. remake in the works. Let’s stop right there. Why? Why the fuck does some asshole, douche bag producer(s) feel the need to remake this masterpiece? Are American audiences, in their opinion(s), too stupid to understand the original? I doubt that. There’s very few people I’ve come across that didn’t think Laugier’s MARTYRS was anything short of brilliant. Do these producers see the potential for making some easy cash by cranking out a shitty “re-visioning” of the original? Hhmmm; I think that’s more likely the case. Bottom line … there’s absolutely no goddamn reason to be remaking MARTYRS. None whatsoever. So establishing that this film shouldn’t even be remade we can continue.
I also reported last month that writer Mark L. Smith, who wrote the 2 limp and vapid VACANCY flicks, was attached to write the remake. Well apparently that was true AND the script is written. Fearnet.com reports that in an interview with producer Wyck Godfrey, Godfrey says, “the script we’ve written for it is awesome.” Yeah; I’m finding it hard to believe that. Godfrey is one of the producers of the TWILIGHT saga (along with producing partner Marty Bowen) and they’re set to produce the MARTYRS remake. Yeah; tell me about it … if these guys think the Twilight series is top-notch, then how the fuck can we believe them that the MARTYRS remake script is “awesome”?
I am VERY confused WHY this girl is a celebrity. She can’t act & she’s not even cute.
In the same article from fearnet.com, they report that Godfrey really wants TWILIGHT star and beanbag chair Kristen Stewart to star. Let me say that again: The producer wants Kristen Stewart to star in the U.S. remake of MARTYRS. Why do I have a problem with this? Simple; Stewart is a horrible fucking actress. Oh stop it; you know she is. She’s not talented enough to star in a movie about her OWN life!! It doesn’t matter which starring role (either Anna or Lucie) she’d play. Who could possibly think she could fill the shoes of either Morjana Alaoui or Mylène Jampanoï??
When asked about the original MARTYRS, Godfrey responds:
I love that movie, [although] I think it’s not remake-able in its form for an American audience. But the core elements of it are fascinating. I love the cult and what it’s about, and I’m also obsessed with the nature of childhood friends — growing up when one doesn’t believe the other one and the corruption between that. I’m excited.
It would be VERY sad watching Stewart try to act in one of the lead roles.
So Godfrey is basically telling us that the remake is gonna be NOTHING like the original. And if it’s “not remake-able” as he says, then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU REMAKING IT??? What an asshole!! I’m sorry for the language here being more saucy than usual, but I am fired up!! Let’s break it down to it’s base elements: We have the remake of a brilliant French movie that the producer himself says is “not remake-able”; said producer is the “genius” behind the TWILIGHT movies; the writer of the remake has the shitty and lazy VACANCY (2007) and VACANCY 2 (2008) flicks under his belt; and now they are talking about having Kristen Stewart star in it. WTF??!? There isn’t one thing about this remake that could give anyone hope about the final product. They aren’t even TRYING to make a good film here; they’re casting empty-headed bimbos and using a terrible writer. As my buddy Brian says about this project:
There is absolutely no way for [the MARTYRS remake] not to suck a giant hairy sack.
No way indeed, my friend. What other news could we possibly get about this remake to make me even more nauseous than I am now? That Molly Shannon or Megan Fox are gonna have the other starring role? That the producers are going for a PG to PG-13 rating to appeal to the TWILIGHT crowd? I gotta stop before I throw up!! This project is a fucking disaster. Period.
Stay Bloody!!!
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[…] the studio pulled a fast one on us. The last time a big announcement was made about a remake was back in 2010 when THE LAST EXORCISM’s Daniel Stamm was attached to direct and Kristen Stewart was […]
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[…] the studio pulled a fast one on us. The last time a big announcement was made about a remake was back in 2010 when THE LAST EXORCISM’s Daniel Stamm was attached to direct and Kristen Stewart was rumored […]
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Horror Movies, Horror News, Horror Reviews | AnythingHorror.com 
Scott, why do I see you appearing somewhat like the dude in “Scanners” with the veins bulging in his forehead??? Hee hee. Yeah, I’m with ya buddy. I feel the same way about remaking “Let the Right One In.” That’s just fucked. Kristen Stewart is not an actress, she’s a pale-faced girl who pretends that having petit mal seizures is acting. I do have the original at the top of my Netflix queue. I always meant to see it, but kept forgetting the name of it. I’m sure I wlll agree with you on the original, as we are pretty aligned in our likes and dislikes and reasons therefore. What’s really sad is that some people will see the remake and think that’s the story. It’s kind of like the young kids who saw the remaked of “The Haunting” and figured the original probably sucked even more. Yikes!
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I was EXACTLY like the dude in Scanners whose head explodes!! I was literally sick to my stomach that the people involved in the remake have absolutely no respect for the source material. I’d LOVE the chance to interview Pascal Laugier and get his candid thoughts on the whole thing!!
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Huh? What? Why? I wish they would stop this project. Please rename the film at this rate if you do redux.
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I like that idea Bill!!! Let’s start an online petition to get the Martyrs remake RENAMED!!! Let’s call it …. Saints!!!
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No, no, no, that would be too catchy of a title Scott, something a little more awkward is called for in this case because this project is just living down to expectations exponentially…….How about “The Self-Preservationists” or “Emo Cowards”?!
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…. or let’s just get even more generic with it. How about “Completely Unnecessary Remake #34,876”?
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This trailer alone is a testament to the fact that this movie can never be replicated…… I watched it again last night and it still sends shivers down my spine. There is something very unnerving even about the location scenery and house that just can not be reproduced. Finally, holy crap, good luck in recasting “Mademoiselle”……I have nightmares about that psychotic bitch and her turbin. Her analytical and cool exterior just sends shivers down my spine when she is talking with Anna. This thing is such an unpleasant and disturbing masterpiece which hits it on all cyclinders both as a physical and psychological torture horror film. I never enjoy watching this film but I do recognize it for the brilliant art it is.
.
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Bill; I’ve seen Martyrs 11 times now and I still get shivers up and down my spine and get REALLY creeped out. Its an amazing flick.
The role of Mademoiselle will probably go to Joan Rivers or Betty White!!! BLECH
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Joan Rivers in the role of “Mademoiselle” for the win and to make this a true remake disaster! LOL. Imagine Mademoiselle walking over to a restrained and tortured Anna and saying “Can we talk?”
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This is no doubt a horrifying clip …. although its horrifying for all the wrong reasons. What’s worse, Joan’s face or Carrot Top’s new mug???
Carrot Top: http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii204/poko198/carrottop.jpg
Joan Rivers: http://zagabaa.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/1116_joan_rivers_full.jpg
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Hey Scott here is the ultimate casting for the role of “Mademoiselle” why not just go with the muse that Joan Rivers is slowly transforming herself into (thanks for the pic’s of Joan’s transformation by the way……yikes!) and that is Madame (now all we have to do is raise Wayland Flowers from the dead). Plus Madame even has the turbin thing going on already! It can not get any more train wreck than to actually cast a dummy / puppet in a film and we can bring in Chucky for a cameo as one of Anna’s torturers! What do ya think?!
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That’s the most frightening fucking clip I’ve ever seen!!!! AND it has Corey Feldman!!! It’s just as if Joan Rivers’ soul was trapped inside a dummy!! Truly a chilling thought as she tortures and skins Anna alive!!
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And while they are at it they should just turn it into a musical, include the Solid Gold Dancers and put an exclamation point on it!
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Good god!!! Some things need to be erased from the internet forever!!!
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This is just disgusting. This is why I’ve sworn off remakes.
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Its hard NOT to swear off remakes when ya get news like this. Kristen Stewart is just ….. just ….. awful (sorry, its late). Who anyone would wanna cast her in ANY role is beyond me!!
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The only way this could be worse (and it COULD!) is if they got Uwe Boll to direct. And maybe Lady Gaga as Lucy. (I’m Allan DeViney’s g/f, btw…I’ve been following your journal for a few weeks now and love it). ‘Martyrs’ is one of the finest horror movies yes, but also a fine film, period. I was fucking STUNNED the first time I saw it, and I’ve seen practically everything horror (except your sick, sad list of ScyFy debacles).
Anyway, hi, and thanks for the news. I’m going to go drink bleach now and go to my happy place.
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Nice to “meet” you Donna!! How’s old Vinnie doing?? Definitely tell him I said hi. Is he into the genre too??
No director has been announced yet, but if they go with Uwe Boll I’m gonna hunt you down for planting the idea in their heads LOL And you’re absolutely right and Martyrs …. I keep saying its the best horror flick when I should be saying its one of the best flicks … period!! You’re not feeling me with the SyFy Channel flicks, eh? They are an acquired taste …. like Mad Dog 20/20 and Beef Jerkey!!
Glad your liking my site …. I appreciate you following. You sound pretty knowledgeable about the genre … I expect to hear more from you in the future 🙂
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Nice to meet you, too. I’ll say hi to A; he’s not into the genre! I consider it my cross to bear, that my partner is so limited, cinematically-speaking . He can’t even make it 20 minutes into Martyrs, which is the film I chose to share with him at the close of our first date…Um, yeah. I did that. I’ve tried since to ease him into it a little more gracefully, but no go.
I watch everything I can get my hands on (although if it’s the wrong kinda cheese, I turn it off). I’m a full-time artist, so I leave them running while I draw. It gets a little tough when I go Japanese (hard to keep an eye on subtitles and draw, too). I even found a couple on your site that I hadn’t seen, which makes me happy…
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I would have LOVED to have seen Alan’s face during Martyrs!! My wife finally watched it a while ago when I was at work. I walked in and it was about half over. She had a look on her face of combined horror and curiosity.
Glad I could recommend some good ones for ya!!
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Oh Scott, I totally feel your pain. I was PISSED when I read that interview and you’ve basically described everything I went through as I read the news. I want to punch every single one of those idiots repeatedly. Or better yet, bash their heads in with a baseball bat like Lucie does to the first torture lady.
Kristen Stewart is a mouth-breathing no-talent hack, who is likely being cast because of the bullshit Twilight viewers who will watch the remake just because of her pasty skinny ass.
And casting a white girl as one of the leads! That freaking defeats the freaking social commentary woven through the original film! Where will they set the beginning? In a rehab centre for rich girls? *dry heaves*
I really really REALLY just don’t understand why they feel the need to remake it especially in the context of “The film as is isn’t fit for American consumption.” Then just make a different movie, Assholes! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I’m just going to go and bang my head against the wall until the image of this truly horrifying remake goes away.
Oh, and thank you for the shout-out! Anger has made me rude, I should have said that first. 🙂
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I think any fan of horror, whether you liked Martyrs or not, would/should be insulted by the comments that douche bag made. No no no …. I promised myself I wouldn’t get PISSED OFF again about this!! I’m just gonna stop. LOL
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Holy Crap!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me this is not true! Kristen Stewart CANNOT ACT!!! She is awful. Ask any die hard Twilight fan, they think she is awful as Bella the character. How can the producer think she is great…..This will ruin it….It was such a great movie and so well made. She can’t even handle the idea of being famous. She calls it like being “raped”….I mean COME ON!! Seriously!!
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Agreed Kitty … Kristen Stewart is a total fucking meat head who can’t act worth a lick and who seems to have the intelligence of a fruit fly. I read her comments comparing “being famous” with “being raped” and was truly appalled by her ignorance and insensitivity. She needs to fade away into obscurity and go work in a fucking Starbucks somewhere. But come to think of it, the people working in Starbucks need to remember a lot of orders at once. I don’t think Stewart could handle that. She just needs to fuck off. 🙂
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“Martyrs”… Huhuhu … Uuhhh…? Those are those aliens living on Mars, right?
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